How to deal with Disappointment

Sport is a catalyst for disappointment. Expectations are everywhere as are our chances to meet them. “Expectation is the root of all heartache.” Rowing is full of expectations. Expectations we feel from our teammates, from our coaches and most of all, expectations we put on ourselves. Often our expectations are so large we rob ourselves from happiness as we are living either waiting for our expectations to be fulfilled or we live disappointed as our expectations have not been met. In rowing we have races, tests, personal bests, and competition surrounding us all year. All these factors are overwhelming enough without thinking about the results of them. Usually, the most pressure and highest expectations come from ourselves and thus when these are not met, we blame ourselves more than anyone else. Having spoken to some rowers, they all have different ways of dealing with disappointment. I have written down the most significant aspects that were mentioned and why people found them helpful.

Giving yourself time to reflect is an important part of disappointment. Accepting that you are disappointed and understanding why you are disappointed. Disappointment is a normal part of life. Sadly, losing is something that every sportsperson must deal with. When feeling of disappointment emerge you can’t force yourself not to feel as these feelings will come out in other ways and begin to affect your performance not just on race day but in regular training.

Adjusting expectations is the first step in dealing with disappointment. Large expectations are a heavy weight to carry and not only add to disappointment but also add to nerves and pressure. Ask yourself whether you are being fair to yourself with your expectations. You know more than anyone what you are capable of. Evaluating your disappointment is principle in adjusting your expectations. Once you know why you are disappointed you can alter your expectations of yourself. If you were expecting a massive personal best and you fall short you may want to set yourself more realistic goals.
Moving on from disappointment is a vital factor. If you let the disappointment stick around it could hinder future races and tests. Dwelling on mistakes or failures can mightily change our performance so we must learn to move on. Picking yourself up from failures is more of what makes you a successful athlete than your successes are. Every successful sportsperson has dealt with. Serena Williams stated that knowing how to lose is what makes a great athlete as “without failures you can’t build character.” She believes that her best developments come from a loss rather than a win as there is more to learn. You can learn more about yourself from how you move on from your disappointment than you would from a success.

Planning how to not be disappointed again is key to dealing with disappointment. Talking to your coaches, teammates or family can really help to plan how to move on and how to deal with stress or nerves before future tests. Looking at ‘what went wrong’ can aid you in planning a different strategy to avoid future disappointments.

When I’m disappointed at first it massively affects me and often, I take it quite badly. However, as I know myself, I usually manage to work through it relatively quickly. I realise that with rowing there are so many chances to prove yourself that usually after one setback there is another chance to redeem it. Obviously, everyone is different, and every setback is different, so it depends on the situation and the person as I am aware I handle disappointment in a dissimilar way to others. At the end of the day you know yourself better than anyone else so know how you deal with being disappointed better than anyone else. As I said, picking yourself up from your failures is more of what makes you a successful athlete than your successes.

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Franny Hunt-Davis

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