Rowing at a high-performance club had always been my dream from the moment the competitive side of rowing became apparent to me at around age 16.
At school, we never qualified for Henley and I had gone to junior GB trials but never made it past the February selection. So when the opportunity to join a high-performance university team presented itself, it seemed like a no-brainer.
And four years later, I have been lucky enough to have won Henley twice, represented my country twice and raced all across Europe and in the USA.
These opportunities will be lifelong memories and I wouldn’t change it for anything. But after I had ticked off all my goals, my competitive pull had slackened significantly. I was no longer sure what I was racing for.
So what was next?
Well, first I had four years of socialising to make up for – meeting friends I hadn’t seen properly since school, going on holidays over summer without the need to bring any sort of gym kit, and generally having a much more open schedule.
The issue is I didn’t know what I wanted.
As work filled my week, I saw my body shape change. Walking up hills made me a bit more out of breath than before, and outside of work I was only seeing friends once or twice a week if that.
It just felt like I was rotting and my identity as a rower had left me. I tried running, cycling, and lifting, but nothing scratched the itch like rowing and I think I know why.
Less than six months later, I found myself back in a boat at my local club and it has opened my eyes as to why I got into the sport in the first place.
The competitive side will always be a large part of the sport but joining a less competitive team made me realise that after five and a half months out from the sport, I was seriously missing the social side. Being in the boat is only half the reason I was there. I was missing the chats in the car on the way to training, moaning about blisters and sore muscles, and sitting in the crew room hoping that in the second session, the coach would go easy on us.
Rowing brings people together in a way that nothing in my life ever has. It’s a communal love-hate relationship that none of us can explain, but when it’s gone its absence is sorely missed.
Since finishing university and starting full-time work, I have promised myself to put rowing at the bottom of my priority list to not miss out on the things I missed whilst I was competitive. This new ethos of non-priority has opened so many doors and spurred a new love and perspective of the sport.
The choice to do what you want (or need) without a feeling of guilt, but also to always have the opportunity to not only work out but share that experience is so valuable for me. The choice to push yourself to your limit one day or take it easy the next has made me fall back in love with the sport and, for now at least, I have found the right balance between committing enough to engage in the bonding with crewmates whilst also enjoying life out the boat going on weekend trips or simply taking the day off if necessary.
Of course, I will miss winning regattas and travelling the world for my sport and the quasi-fame that came with it. However, I am loving this new chapter of my rowing career and looking forward to what it will bring in the future.
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